Today I am participating in "Blogging about LBGT familes." http://www.mombian.com/2006/05/03/lgbtf
I am at a loss for words as to an eloquent way to begin this post. This subject makes me incredibly emotional and upset, so like I often do when I am feeling anxious, I will make a list or two.
- We pay, as a couple, a whole crapload more in taxes each year, for several reasons. Included in E's taxable income is the cost of my health insurance. In addition, since my income is very low (I'm a student, duh) if we could file jointly we would owe much less. For last year, I was eligible for EIC while she owed money to both the feds and MD.
- Even if we had IVF coverage from our insurance they could refuse us, because in MD the law mandating insurance coverage for assisted reproduction only states that IVF must be covered if a woman's egg is fertilized with her husband's sperm. I probably don't need to point out that this doesn't just stop dykes and single women from having IVF coverage, but also women whose husbands have azoospermia, had testicular cancer, or one of the many other disorders which cause a man to not produce sperm.
- In order for us to have the right to do a second parent adoption or adopt as a couple, we moved from VA to MD. I am still in graduate school, and because VA has a serious deficit in $$ for higher ed, I will now have to pay the out of state portion of my tuition. The state of VA will not allow my professor to cover that part of my tuition even if his grant monies are sufficient. This will increase my student loan burden significantly, especially if it takes me more than a year to complete my dissertation.
How we are incredibly lucky
- We are both blessed with incredibly supportive, loving families. They recognize us as a family unit and follow our journey to grow our family closely.
- We live in a state where, although we can not get married, it is illegal for us to be fired from our jobs, or discriminated against in housing matters because of our sexual orientation.
- We have a stable, loving, wonderful relationship with each other. I never imagined that after almost five years I would still feel so passionately for another person. There is no lesbian bed death in this household! All the pain and stress of trying to conceive and my miscarriages have only made us closer. No relationship is easy all the time, we have our moments of trouble - but they are vastly outweighed by the moments of quiet contentment, passion, and joy.
One day we will be afforded all the rights now given to every drunk heterosexual couple who staggers through a chapel in Las Vegas and slurs out the words "I Do". One day our long term commitment, our marriage, will be legally recognized by the powers that be. I could go on about this, but instead, I recommend you go to the link above and check out some of the many other blogs that are participating today. Read about other families, hear the many voices speaking out today, a few short days before the US Senate is scheduled to once again vote whether or not the amend the constitution to define marriage as a union between one man and one woman.
- Warning label: sad
- Listening:morning news program